Real Life Christianity

Real Life Christianity

Avoiding the Fire

September 26th, 2008 Filed under: Uncategorized by Shayna

A year after I moved into the basement apartment I rent in Chevy Chase, I set off the fire alarm.

I assure you that this was not because I don’t know how to cook, or because I lack common sense about the use of a kitchen fan. Rather, I was frying breadfruit (see, now you’re starting to understand) and even though the whir of the fan over the stovetop was blaring and the door to my apartment has been swung open in a generous arc, the smoke produced from the frying was simply too much for my tiny abode.

When the fire alarm started beeping, I hopped around beneath it, furiously waving a kitchen towel in a vain attempt to beg submission. Before I could will the alarm to cease beeping, however, the security alarm on the house was triggered. I froze  in panic. My landlady was not home and the house alarm had never gone off in the time I was living there. I called my landlady’s cell phone. No answer. I called the alarm company, prepared to offer the password. I got the answering machine. Within a few minutes, however, the alarm had stopped and the neighbors had hopefully stopped positioning themselves to attack an invisible intruder. Just when I thought the worst was over, the fire department was knocking on the front door.

Regaling my landlady with this turn of events was not something I was looking forward to. When she returned home later that day, her reaction was exactly what I thought it would be: anger and false accusations. She’s very easily agitated and knowing that the fire department had arrived and worse, that the neighbors in our upscale neighborhood had seen them (the horror!), she was livid at her obviously incompetent tenant.

After the fire alarm event, I limited the amount of cooking I did in my apartment. I cautiously heated pots at the minimum level needed and almost always had both a kitchen fan and oscillating fan to reduce the smoke of cooking. Even though what happened was unintentional, the fear of what might happen again (and what my landlady would do!) crippled me into abandoning my Susie Homemaker ways.

This week, as I’ve been dealing with some personal struggles, I have realized that in my Christian walk, I often react the same way that I did to the fire alarm. Even though everything turns out just fine, I always fixate on the worst of the experience. I consciously know that trials are opportunities for character building, but sometimes it’s so hard to become frozen in fear when dealing with them.

2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us, though, that “God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline.” Whatever you may be dealing with this week, remember that there’s nothing to fear. Romans 8:37-39 says that nothing can separate us from God’s love. He always has our best interest at heart and no matter what happens, He’s still in charge.

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Plus One

September 17th, 2008 Filed under: Uncategorized by Shayna

Growing up, my West Indian mother would have been horrified if I even implied that I was going to wear black to a wedding. Black, after all, is the color of funerals and mourning. It would be unfavorable to wear such a color, and display such ignorance about it, at a wedding.

The number of weddings that I will be attending this fall is growing steadily, though. As Phil’s friends begin to settle down, ornate invitations with gold embossing and delicate sheets of tissue paper have been arriving weekly. RSVP cards indicating that he “plus one” will be in attendance are being mailed and flight reservations and rental cars are being reserved.

This weekend, we will be attending the nuptial ceremonies of his friend in New York—an American friend from college marrying his Chinese love.

Ordinarily, I would be completely confident about the experience. I’ve already mentally arranged which groups of friends will be at which weddings, and thus, which formal dresses can be recycled and when. For a woman who loves dressing up, I’m incredibly practical about these things. I hate buying dresses, shoes, or accessories that I know I’ll only wear once or twice.

So, much to my mother’s chagrin, I decided on a fitted black dress with tiers of delicate ruffles below the waist for this weekend. This was before Phil told me about the proposal.

Phil’s parents are jewelry manufacturers and it was with Phil’s help that his friend produced the perfect diamond solitare and presented it in a soft, white box. His friend’s fiancé accepted the proposal, but not before reacting in horror to its presentation.

Unbenownst to either Phil or his friend, white is traditionally bad luck in Chinese culture. The next day, Phil quickly repackaged the ring in a red box—a symbol of Chinese good luck.

Two nights ago, I emailed a Chinese friend to educate me about cultural propriety. Her informative reply stated that a black dress was perfectly fine (and non-offensive); that I should avoid either white (bad luck) or red (the bride’s color). She also noted that wearing black to a Thai wedding would be very bad indeed, but to a Chinese wedding, it would be perfectly fine.

I would have known none of these things without her thorough instructions.

With our evangelistic meetings rapidly approaching, I can’t help but think of just how much we need to be in prayer about being culturally sensitive to those we will be ministering to. The Holy Spirit will undoubtedly be among us, but thoughtfulness about the comfort of others extends far beyond just what we wear, but how we talk to others, interact with them, and show respect.

More importantly, though, in the same way that the small “plus one” RSVP cards generated a flurry of excited and inquisitive emails, we also should be happily planning who our “plus ones” will be for the meetings.

Mark 16:15 reminds us that Jesus Christ cannot return to earth until we have preached the message to all the world. Which friends, neighbors, or colleagues have you yet to introduce as your church family? Unlike a catered wedding, you can also show up with as many hungry people as you want! We won’t stop you at the door. I promise.

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If He Wasn’t a Swimmer, He’d Just Be Weird

August 18th, 2008 Filed under: Uncategorized by Shayna

Saturday night, Phil and I sat on the couch next to his dad and watched Michael Phelps break a world record by earning his eighth gold medal in a single Olympics.

We were rooting for the USA from the get-go and had it not been for my Uncle Ossie’s enthusiastic yelling,

“Watch out for Australia! They’re catching you! They’re catching you! Don’t lose your lead!,”

I probably would have been oblivious to most of the other countries swimming.

After the USA team had won and Michael Phelps was mouthing a rousing, “Thank you!” about five times as the camera panned to his mother weeping in the stands and then back to his pool side soaked body again, Phil uttered the unspoken truth about our favorite American hero.

“Michael Phelps is really lanky. You know, if he couldn’t swim, he’d just be gawky and weird.”

Before you judge, I know you were thinking it too.

Scientists have gone so far as to study the anatomical composition of Michael Phelps’ body to determine what makes him a rock star in the water. Apparently, a combination of a long upper body, shorter legs, and double joints helps to make him the water beast he is. It also makes him look sort of, well, awkward outside of the pool.

I mean no harm by poking fun at Michael Phelps, especially because all of us have tendencies that are less than attractive. (If I had the middle school pictures of me in braces and thick lensed glasses that my mother has somewhere in Florida, I’d post them here just to provide evidence.)

2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that once we are in Christ we are “new creations…the old has gone and the new has come.” Thank goodness Jesus is covering who any of us really are. Without Him, we would have no power to overcome sin. Our best efforts  at anything would be futile.  I’m so grateful that God provided an opportunity for us to receive salvation so that we can all be more than what we appear.

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Feeling Fishy

July 29th, 2008 Filed under: Uncategorized by Shayna

The link came sometime last Thursday with email instructions from Phil to let him know what I thought of the idea.

His friends would be visiting this weekend from New York and one of them had sent the email, alerting us about the newest fad in spa pedicures. Apparently, a salon in Alexandria, VA had just been featured in the New York Times for offering a “doctor fish pedicure.” By the time I got the link, beauty blogs were already raving about the experience and Diane Sawyer had hailed it as feeling like “tiny, delicate kisses” on Good Morning America.

So, on Sunday morning at 10 a.m., Phil, Josh, Ting, Danny, and I walked into Yvonne Nails and Tanning to decide for ourselves.

I’ve always been a proponent of trying anything (OK, almost anything) at least once, so into side by side tanks Ting’s and my feet went. Tiny silver fish swarmed our toes in a display more analogous to crabs scavenging detritus than a therapeutic beauty regimen. While I slowly lost feeling in what felt like gentle tickling turned prickly numbing, the men stood by dutifully photographing the experience.

(Special thanks to Philip Bacchus and Joshua Li for the photographs provided in this blog.)

“I can’t believe people pay money for this!,” Phil commented.

He’s an avid scuba diver and snorkeler and spends a considerable amount of his vacation time in the warm, tropical waters of St. Vincent (where our families are from). Swimming with gentle, beautiful fish who playfully take a nibble is an occurrence Phil is used to. I grew up in South Florida, but by the time I was in high school, I understood the fearful realities of undercurrents, seaweed, and invisible sea creatures. I was definitely not fond of anything besides water touching me while swimming. The only finned creatures likely to take a little nibble in Florida are sharks.

Isaiah 11:6 says that one day, the “wolf will lie down with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and yearling together.” I’m looking forward to a world where experiencing the feeling of friendly fish won’t be a novelty priced by quarter hour increments. Peace and harmony among all of God’s living creatures will be gloriously commonplace. It will be only natural that we want to cuddle with cobras (Isaiah 11:8) and lie with leopards (Isaiah 11:6). And, as Phil pointed out, we can save our $50 too.

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And Then, I Got Labeled a Conservative

July 15th, 2008 Filed under: Uncategorized by Shayna

In general, I’ve gotten a bad rap for being a “bad liberal” in the Adventist church. I have been known to guide wayward youth to their demise by telling them blatant untruths…such as, kissing before marriage is not a sin. I believe that homosexuality is no worse than other infractions on the eternal gauge of naughty and nice. And, worst of all, I actually talk about topics like sex, dating, and abstinence openly. The nerve, really.

If you’re wondering if my wholesome West Indian family is shocked or embarrassed, I assure you that they are both. They brought me up right—with fear and trembling and an implicit understanding that certain things are not talked to be talked about. Then, I went and started hosting relationship advice seminars using the “s-e-x” word in the sanctuary and causing the holy angels in heaven to turn away from my sad, disrespectful ways.

So, imagine my shock and concern that I am somehow being labeled as a staunch, conservative Adventist over on the Adventist Today blog. Someone even called me a Pharisee. Me! The twenty something sex and dating blogger who is supposed to be the liberal voice of young people everywhere!

If you’re wondering what happened, I’ll just admit to being brazen and misguided enough to use the Bible as my basis for the guidance I am providing. I know, you almost had to close your web browser in shame.

If you’d like to weigh in on what is becoming an incendiary discussion about pre-martial virginity in modern culture, head over to Adventist Today! You can also add your comments to Pastor Russell’s thought-provoking “Peculiar Institution” article and sign the petition to abolish race-based conferences. If you comment on either, don’t be afraid to defend our bad liberal personas. Mine was sort of growing on me. (My newest blog, In Defense of Single Parenthood, will be posted on Thursday.)

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