Growing up, my West Indian mother would have been horrified if I even implied that I was going to wear black to a wedding. Black, after all, is the color of funerals and mourning. It would be unfavorable to wear such a color, and display such ignorance about it, at a wedding.
The number of weddings that I will be attending this fall is growing steadily, though. As Phil’s friends begin to settle down, ornate invitations with gold embossing and delicate sheets of tissue paper have been arriving weekly. RSVP cards indicating that he “plus one” will be in attendance are being mailed and flight reservations and rental cars are being reserved.
This weekend, we will be attending the nuptial ceremonies of his friend in New York—an American friend from college marrying his Chinese love.
Ordinarily, I would be completely confident about the experience. I’ve already mentally arranged which groups of friends will be at which weddings, and thus, which formal dresses can be recycled and when. For a woman who loves dressing up, I’m incredibly practical about these things. I hate buying dresses, shoes, or accessories that I know I’ll only wear once or twice.
So, much to my mother’s chagrin, I decided on a fitted black dress with tiers of delicate ruffles below the waist for this weekend. This was before Phil told me about the proposal.
Phil’s parents are jewelry manufacturers and it was with Phil’s help that his friend produced the perfect diamond solitare and presented it in a soft, white box. His friend’s fiancé accepted the proposal, but not before reacting in horror to its presentation.
Unbenownst to either Phil or his friend, white is traditionally bad luck in Chinese culture. The next day, Phil quickly repackaged the ring in a red box—a symbol of Chinese good luck.
Two nights ago, I emailed a Chinese friend to educate me about cultural propriety. Her informative reply stated that a black dress was perfectly fine (and non-offensive); that I should avoid either white (bad luck) or red (the bride’s color). She also noted that wearing black to a Thai wedding would be very bad indeed, but to a Chinese wedding, it would be perfectly fine.
I would have known none of these things without her thorough instructions.
With our evangelistic meetings rapidly approaching, I can’t help but think of just how much we need to be in prayer about being culturally sensitive to those we will be ministering to. The Holy Spirit will undoubtedly be among us, but thoughtfulness about the comfort of others extends far beyond just what we wear, but how we talk to others, interact with them, and show respect.
More importantly, though, in the same way that the small “plus one” RSVP cards generated a flurry of excited and inquisitive emails, we also should be happily planning who our “plus ones” will be for the meetings.
Mark 16:15 reminds us that Jesus Christ cannot return to earth until we have preached the message to all the world. Which friends, neighbors, or colleagues have you yet to introduce as your church family? Unlike a catered wedding, you can also show up with as many hungry people as you want! We won’t stop you at the door. I promise.
